:: Discover a mode of communication where everybody wins no matter how contradictory each party’s demands are.
:: How to cut through the bull and identify the true needs behind what people are saying…and how that puts you in a position of (benevolent) power.
:: The difference between needs and neediness. And how to defuse the grip needs have on us by seeing their hidden value.
:: Unexpected ways that we’ve been conditioned out of knowing ourselves and communicating honestly.
:: How to direct your attention to stay clear on what’s happening…especially when you’re getting triggered by people.
:: When it’s not okay to just throw everything on the table.
Yeah, knowledge isn’t really power (as we were taught in school). Using it properly is power. However, knowledge can make other people put you in a position of power over them. And true wisdom means not taking advantage of that position (even when it is in a very small, everyday moment in life – and the stakes aren’t as high as say a medical, therapeutic or spiritual guidance situation). I discuss how to treat the constantly emerging teacher-student relationship humbly, ethically, and with a service mindset.More
Powerful Ways The Service Environment Reveals & Tests Our Ability to Be Our Authentic Selves Probably the most played out bit of wisdom we get from people of all positions and disciplines is encouragement to “just be you” rather than whatever you think people expect of you. It’s something we always do well to be […]More
I talk about how to master skills, which then shape us into people that are even more awesome. I talk about the value of sticking with something even (especially, actually) when it gets boring and repetitive. Modern life has conditioned us to hate this “plateau” phases and instead seek peak experiences and instant gratification. This distracts us from the power of continuing to show up and practice at skills we feel aren’t giving us the growth they used to. Any ideas of growth slowing or stopping are total misperceptions: these mundane realms of life are where the magic is! This applies to service jobs or anything in life we are pursuing. For those in the service industry, special emphasis is given to the very real way that service industry skills prepare us for any challenge or aspiration we may have during our after our service career.
“There’s no value in digging shallow wells in a hundred places. Decide on one place and dig deep. Even if you encounter a rock, use dynamite and keep going down. If you leave that to dig another well, all the first effort is wasted and there is no proof you won’t hit rock again.”
Originally written for the Be Here Now Network. Check out the original article here. “We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.” -T.S. Eliot It’s many years ago, and a much younger Stefan is in the […]More
This episode is about how we have limited opportunities to really make conversation count, so why not speak to the highest place in people and watch them light up. I discuss the skillful ways of doing this without seeming fawning, manipulative or churning with agenda. Then I give you conversational tools that make people love talking to you…only to then show you how it’s better to forget all that and be spontaneous (but, this time, with intent). You can learn how letting the other person shine is an empowered position. Or just be entertained with stories of me bartending with social anxiety, how I avoided dealing with my deficiencies by keeping my head buried in snobbery, and the hilariously simple truths that woke me from my fever dream of neurosis.More