:: Discover a mode of communication where everybody wins no matter how contradictory each party’s demands are.
:: How to cut through the bull and identify the true needs behind what people are saying…and how that puts you in a position of (benevolent) power.
:: The difference between needs and neediness. And how to defuse the grip needs have on us by seeing their hidden value.
:: Unexpected ways that we’ve been conditioned out of knowing ourselves and communicating honestly.
:: How to direct your attention to stay clear on what’s happening…especially when you’re getting triggered by people.
:: When it’s not okay to just throw everything on the table.
Yeah, knowledge isn’t really power (as we were taught in school). Using it properly is power. However, knowledge can make other people put you in a position of power over them. And true wisdom means not taking advantage of that position (even when it is in a very small, everyday moment in life – and the stakes aren’t as high as say a medical, therapeutic or spiritual guidance situation). I discuss how to treat the constantly emerging teacher-student relationship humbly, ethically, and with a service mindset.More
I talk about how to master skills, which then shape us into people that are even more awesome. I talk about the value of sticking with something even (especially, actually) when it gets boring and repetitive. Modern life has conditioned us to hate this “plateau” phases and instead seek peak experiences and instant gratification. This distracts us from the power of continuing to show up and practice at skills we feel aren’t giving us the growth they used to. Any ideas of growth slowing or stopping are total misperceptions: these mundane realms of life are where the magic is! This applies to service jobs or anything in life we are pursuing. For those in the service industry, special emphasis is given to the very real way that service industry skills prepare us for any challenge or aspiration we may have during our after our service career.
“There’s no value in digging shallow wells in a hundred places. Decide on one place and dig deep. Even if you encounter a rock, use dynamite and keep going down. If you leave that to dig another well, all the first effort is wasted and there is no proof you won’t hit rock again.”
This episode is about how we have limited opportunities to really make conversation count, so why not speak to the highest place in people and watch them light up. I discuss the skillful ways of doing this without seeming fawning, manipulative or churning with agenda. Then I give you conversational tools that make people love talking to you…only to then show you how it’s better to forget all that and be spontaneous (but, this time, with intent). You can learn how letting the other person shine is an empowered position. Or just be entertained with stories of me bartending with social anxiety, how I avoided dealing with my deficiencies by keeping my head buried in snobbery, and the hilariously simple truths that woke me from my fever dream of neurosis.More
What’s the best way to apply spiritual practices? How about challenging basically everything. In this episode I speak with Angie Vroom, a meditation teacher with a uniquely socially conscious vision. We explore how Eastern practices and philosophies give activism some unexpected firepower. And how critical thinking makes spiritual practice that much more complete. People are often hesitant to connect these two worlds – especially modern Western spiritual people that are committed to the “love and light” sensibility – but will be amply rewarded when they do. Meditate, then get real, get uncomfortable, and stand for what you believe in – for Angie, awareness-enhancing practices like meditation and mindfulness make us especially capable (and almost obligated) to do this. We also somehow ended up talking about restaurants and how this all fits into the system of professional service. Don’t ask how, just listen, then go kick ass – it’s a truly awesome talk.More
Everything is relationships. So who better to give us deep insights on that than self-development coach David Tian. He has a pHD in Eastern Philosophy, which he has parlayed into an extremely successful career as a dating coach. His work has since evolved into developing a broad range of programs to teach general mastery of relationships, career, health and, most importantly, oneself. He is an absolute education machine, putting out tons of content and forming huge discussion communities. His rich perspective on what it means to be a human (and the most effective one we can be) is not to be missed.More